


Behind Blue Eyes

by orphan_account



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 06:18:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17054744
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: While Lucifer spends his night off from planning the apocalypse, a song reminds him of a past that breaks his heart.  Song lyrics are bolded.





	Behind Blue Eyes

**No one knows what it’s like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes.**

 

The song echoed in the background.  Lucifer sat on the roof of a building, looking out over humanity.  There was some type of gathering a couple floors down that was sending the music up, carried by the wind.  It didn’t bother him too much, the lyrics seemed to strike a chord with him.

 

**And no one knows what it’s like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies.**

 

Hmm…this song was most interesting.  Lucifer felt himself falling into the music.  He had never expected to be influenced by humanities words.  But he couldn’t deny that, for some reason, they called out to him. 

 

**But my dreams, they aren’t as empty as my conscience seems to be.  I have hours, only lonely.  My love is vengeance, that’s never free.**

 

Vengeance.  That word rattled around in his brain. That’s what he was set on, what the whole apocalypse was for.  He fell so many years ago, just because he loved his father.  All he wanted…was to go home.

 

**No one knows what it’s like to feel these feelings like I do, and I blame you!**

 

 _You.  Feelings_.  He squeezed his eyes shut.  _No_ , he couldn’t let it into his mind.  _No, not now_. 

 

**No one bites back as hard on their anger.  None of my pain and woe can show through.**

 

Little bits were bleeding through his memories, no matter how hard he tried.  _Her_ smile, the color of _her_ eyes, the way the light shinned off _her_ wings.

 

**But my dreams, they aren’t as empty as my conscience seems to be.  I have hours, only lonely.  My love is vengeance, that’s never free.**

 

The memory hit him hard.  His love, his angel.  How _she_ would sit upon the edge of heaven as _she_ watched over humanity.

 

“Lucifer.”  _Her_ voice was like a wind chime, light and perfect.  “I don’t know what to do.”  _Her_ smile simple, sweet.  It was the smile reserved for only him. 

 

“Why is that?”  He cooed, and ran a finger down _her_ face and smiled.

 

“Because I feel…love.  For you, Lucifer.” 

 

He could still feel _her_ lips on his.  Back then, he had dreams, with _her_.  He wanted to be, was going to be mated, to _her_. 

 

**No one knows what it’s like to be mistreated, to be defeated, behind blue eyes.**

 

The day he fell was the worst of his life.  His brother had him pinned, angel blade pulled back, ready to strike. 

 

Lucifer put his head in his hands.  _No, no, no_ , he didn’t want to remember, he didn’t want to feel the pain.

 

**No one knows how to say that they’re sorry and don’t worry, I’m not telling lies.**

 

That angel blade never pierced Lucifer.  _She_ made sure of that.  _She_ grabbed it and twisted Michael away.  Michael…he didn’t hesitate.  The blade dug into _her_ abdomen.  A flash of light.  Lucifer roared in pain as he held the love of his life, dead, in his arms.  His beautiful angel, his lover, was gone.   

 

“She got in the way.  I did as I was ordered.  Now you fall, brother,” was all Michael said before the burning sensation came, ripping apart his wings as he fell.  But that pain was nothing, nothing compared to the pain of being ripped away from _her_ , staring into _her_ empty eyes.

 

**But in my dreams, they aren’t as empty as my conscience seems to be.  I have hours, only lonely.  My love is vengeance, that’s never free.**

 

Everyone thinks that Lucifer is simply full of hate.  That he hates because of his dark heart.  But his dark heart wasn’t always there.  _She_ made his heart light, even when he carried the mark.  But Michael…and Father…they took that light away.  They murdered _her_ , because he loved his father, and _her_ , more than humanity, and because _she_ loved him. 

 

**No one knows what it’s like to be the bad man, to be the sad man, behind blue eyes.**

 

The song drifted away as years of pain and anger and heartbreak fell from his eyes.  He would give up heaven and hell, the apocalypse, just to see _her_ smile…one last time. 


End file.
